My life in a dream world

2010-06-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time. We've been keeping busy - up north a few times, lots of play dates with friends. Today is Tuesday so we did our usual: Noodles and the library. Tomorrow starts the park days with our homeschooling group. We meet at different parks in the Milwaukee area through the summer.

Eric and I have been planting around here. We have an apple tree, raspberries, grapes and a small garden that's starting to come up. Yesterday the kids and I went out side to work on weeding. Kyle got a glove out to pull up the pokey weeds. He declared weeding more fun than video games!

Jack will be one next week. He's very determined to get what he wants, including being cute to get it! He's working on walking too. He's taken as many as 7 steps.

Summer sure improves my mood - not perfect but better. Jack still doesn't sleep well or much but I'm handling it better. Eric and I have been talking about changing things up so the winter so I don't make everyone so miserable. I like a few minutes to myself without kids each day. I need to take vitamins too. I might try some lights this winter, we'll see. Thankfully, we have lots of sun and beautiful weather to enjoy right now:)

painted

2010-04-04T05:37:00.000-07:00

The kids woke up yesterday and they had turned into a butterfly and a pirate :) I wonder what they'll be today?

little things you didn't know about me

2010-03-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

I don't wash my hair. Ok, well sometimes I do, about every 3 months just for kicks. I make my own hair rinse with apple cider vinegar but even that I only use about twice a week. Sometimes I'll use a little conditioner cause I still have some left over from this huge container I bought right before I went 'poo-less. I don't use products in my hair and I don't really like it when I get a hair cut and they put a lot of gunk in it. Think I might give up hair cuts, come to think of it.

I make my own lotion too. Have you read the ingredients on those things? No wonder there's so much cancer. I keep finding bottles of lotion around and the saver in me won't let me just throw it away so I keep trying to use it up.

I also make my own toothpaste. I read that store bought stuff leaves a coat on your teeth that doesn't allow for the normal remineralization of your teeth that leads to cavities, ironic huh? So we've been making our own. It's pretty good. No, I mean it's really good. I just made our second batch a couple days ago. This one was a little thicker but still not quite the consistency I want it to be. I'll keep tweaking it. It's baking soda free too which is better for your teeth too.

I've tried giving up coffee and I've tried giving up creamer. Neither of which seems even remotely possible in my life right now. I'm trying to make the best of it. I switched to organic, fair-trade coffee. Good stuff. I feel good about that. Can't seem to do anything about the creamer though. This morning I had a HUGE revelation!!!! Ok, so it wasn't that big. I said to myself, said I "You have real cream in the fridge why don't you make a nice creamer for your coffee?" So, that's my project for today. Real creamer that actually has cream and vanilla (or whatever flavor you think you're buying in the store but that is not actually IN the creamer) that tastes like the fake creamer from the store. This ties into the commercial I saw a while ago (yes, we finally have a tv with channels, I hate it). The commercial was for Reddi-Whip and it says that Cool Whip doesn't have real cream in it but Reddi-Whip does. UGH! Reddi Whip has a propellant to get it out of the can, do you really want to eat propellent? Today, I found an article about it here. Funny stuff.

p.s. their fonts are boring

2010-03-10T07:20:00.000-08:00

I'm stuck... I want more than what I have. I have doubts about what I'm doing, is it really the right path after all? It doesn't feel right, but what other choice do I have? I've had what I want and lost it. Change happens. I'm tired. Everything about this makes me doubt my power, energy, intuition, ability, everything I believe in. I'm losing my faith in me and that's about as hard as losing Maggie. Speaking of her, I miss her too. I just want everything fixed. Is that too much to ask? Really? I want peace... my piece of peace and a little for my family too.

Maple Syrup time!

2010-03-09T04:36:00.000-08:00

The trees have been tapped and sap collected twice now. I always love this time of year at my parents house. Everything is wet from melting snow and the promise of spring right around the corner. The slushy, muddy tracks through the woods give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Dad, Mom and Ethan tapped 70 trees on Friday. The kids and I helped collect Sunday and Monday. So far we have about 120 gallons of sap which would make around 4 gallons of syrup, give or take. The bulk tank is about full and ready to start cooking. The sap house is near the woods, set up with a nice evaporator, a 200 gallon bulk tank outside. Dad thinks we'll have to start cooking on Thursday, I think sooner. I love the smell of the sap cooking. There is nothing like it in the world, the sticky sweet smell hanging in the air. The sap house gets nice and humid as it's cooking off the water. Always the perfect way to start spring in my opinion!

I'll add some pictures later, my laptop is down right now.

new blogs

2010-02-10T03:44:00.000-08:00

Check out these blogs!

http://simpleorganic.net

http://simplehomeschool.net

http://simplekids.net

http://simplemom.net

http://www.simplebites.net

Milwaukee Public Museum

2010-02-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

We met up with our friends at the Milwaukee Public Museum today. It was a special cultural day at the Streets of Old Milwaukee. People dressed up in period clothes and they even had the nickelodeon open! I have been to the museum plenty of times before but this was my first time at the theater. The kids decorated yo-yo's and listened to a story about Teddy Roosevelt... well, some of them listened and the rest looked at the near-by exhibits :)

I was really crabby today so I was glad to be out with friends so the kids had it a little easier, sorry kiddo's! By tonight I got to feeling a lot better. We had a nice bedtime (best all week) with good conversation and our favorite white light/purple light meditation. Zoe managed to give me some insight into her silly little mind and I feel like I can make some good progress with her now. Just the fact that we could have a real conversation that made sense felt really good.

Daddy should be home in a few hours! Yeah!

Reiki II

2010-02-03T20:17:00.000-08:00

With each level of Reiki there are attunements. Basically, it's a cleansing so you can access the reiki energy at a higher lever. The first attunement lasted a total of one month. I was a little more sensitive during that time, things effected me a little more than normal (I think). So I was fully prepared today to devote myself to self care over the course of the next month to really receive the full benefits. Front page of our outline for the class says, "Attunement will create one year of drastic change, getting rid of garbage in life."

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

So if I'm a little bit crabby than normal, I have an excuse... I'm cleansing :)

2010-02-02T18:29:00.000-08:00

Eric is on the road again. It seems harder this time. I'm not sure why. From the day he left we've all been out of sorts.

This past weekend we went to the great wolf lodge with Eric's family. We had a really nice condo that Kathy's boss let us use. It was really nice to have all of us there together. Eric and I even got to sneak away and go on the grown-up water slide! We did managed to get pulled over 3 times over the weekend. Apparently my headlight was out on the van and the first cop stopped us about 15 minutes from home. Then 30 minutes later another stopped to inform us. We managed to make it there without another incident but then on the way home we got it again! I picked up the headlight yesterday but haven't put it in yet. Maybe I'll have the next cop that stops me put it in!

Yesterday we met with our homeschooling group, Milwaukee Area Home Learners or MAHL for short. We were suppose to make flags for our countries of origin. I kinda stressed out in the morning because I have no idea where the kids are from. I've asked a couple times and it feels like their grandma doesn't even understand the question or why that would be interesting. I felt bad because I didn't want to do German or Swedish just because that's what I am. So after talking to my wise mother I showed the kids some flags and they picked out the ones they liked. Zoe chose Puerto Rico and did a nice job making the flag. Kyle chose a Flag of the World that someone designed. I did a mother earth flag. On the way to the group the kids and I talked about nationalities and what that means. I emphasized that it doesn't matter where you're from because we're all people and we should be kind. Kyle chimed in and said, "Yeah, kind of like it doesn't matter what color you are we should still be kind to each other." Exactly dude. I told them that if anyone asked what nationality they are they showed say in a robot voice "I. am. from. planet. earth." They thought it was cool that they could make a joke. It went really well once we got there. Jessica and Erica tried to emphasize that it's the blending of so many people that makes America really cool.

We also made Stone soup afterward. Kyle thought it was sooo cool that we would eat real soup with everyone. He didn't quite understand the stones part so he thought it was pretend. He liked it so much he asked if we could do that every time now!

Tomorrow I'm taking Reiki II. I'm really excited about it. I'll let you know how it goes :)

the way it goes

2010-01-21T18:16:00.001-08:00

I made a bag for our plastic bags. I always thought they were ugly but my technique of closing the door really fast so the plastic bag of plastic bags wouldn't fall out was getting a little old. I swiped the fabric from my sister and then picked up a fat quarter to do the applique and holder. This was my first applique attempt so it's a little messy but I'm pretty pleased with it. It makes me smile when I open the broom closet now.

Kyle and I made him an apron. He helped me make quesadillas in his new apron and he ate them even though he doesn't like them. I think it's a magical apron!

Kyle is sick today. Fever as high as 104 tonight. It's fluctuated all day with some better periods some worse. I only remember one other day where the twins were so sick they just sat on the couch all day. Usually, even if they're sick, they bounce around wild and crazy! So far the rest of us aren't sick.

Oliver and the new skirt

2010-01-10T10:44:00.000-08:00

My sister Beth had her baby yesterday. Oliver William was born 1-9-10 at 4:30 am. He weighed 9 lbs. 12 oz and was 21" long. He's a cutie!

I finished Zoe's skirt today. I think it turned out pretty good for my first sewing project in a l-0-n-g time. I have enough fabric I think I'll make a second!

Wintery day's

2010-01-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful snowy day outside and I wish I wasn't so tired. Jack hasn't been sleeping well lately so I just feel exhausted. Zoe loves puzzles so she works on them daily. Kyle loves to be a helper around the house with me. He's very good at taking care of Jack too. They are all out in the studio playing games with Jack watching. I have a few minutes that I should be doing something more productive but lack the energy.

Our homeschool goal this year is manners... Manners at the library, manners at the dinner table, manners with family, manners at the doctors office, manners in the store, manners with friends, and any other place where we can think of. The kids are doing well at it. They know all the appropriate manners but now just need to remember them consistently.

I've been cooking better lately. Yes, things burn less but I'm also trying to plan out the weeks meals in advance. Before grocery shopping I get suggestions for a few things we'd like to eat this week and then make sure I have it on hand. It's going pretty well. The last couple weeks I made chili and froze half. I made two lasagna's and we ate one and froze one. I made two quiche's and froze one. Tonight I'll make quinoa and we'll probably eat the whole thing or have just enough leftovers for lunch tomorrow. I worry that the kids don't have enough variety in their diet but I survived and I was a super picky eater so I guess they'll be ok too.

I set up my sewing machine a couple days ago. I was gone all day yesterday but I'd like to start a skirt for Zoe today. Emmy sent me a link to a pattern that looks pretty easy. I also have a bunch of mending to do. Maybe I'll do that to get back in the swing of things. Looking forward to new projects.

Baby Jack Boy!

2009-06-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

Jack Ericsson Krenzke was born June 7th 2009 at 6:11 p.m. He weighed 9# 2 oz and was 22" long. His head was 36 cm circumference. That's really the important part to me - how big is the head? That's the part that comes out first and makes the way for the rest of him. Labor was 7 hours - not bad at all. My water broke at 11:15 and there was a lot of meconium (baby poop) so Ginne (our midwife) felt we should be at the hospital. I was dilated to one cm. Contractions started right after the water broke. My mom and Ginnie were already here so they helped me pack quickly and drove me to the hospital. Eric was at a client so they let him know and he met us there.

By the time I got to the hospital I had dilated to 2 cm. In 3 more hours I had dilated to 8. I took extra vit D while I was pregnant because it helps the uterus work more effectively. Once I was fully dilated I pushed for 1 1/2 hours. They had me tethered to the bed with IV, fetal monitor and contraction monitor so I had to push laying down which is not effective. Finally at one point when the doctor left Ginnie said ok, we're going to get you out of bed and you can squat with the next contractions. It worked like a charm, I made quite a bit of progress and hopped back into bed before the doctor came back in. He was surprised at how far I was. Jack came out a few pushes later. They suctioned him right away to get out any meconium he might have aspirated in the birth canal. That night the twins slept over at mom's and Jack, Eric and I stayed at the hospital. We were out of there in less than 24 hours. He's doing well and we're happy to be home!

2009-04-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a pretty great day. At 11 I adopted the twins... finally! Then right after that I got married. Not many people can say they adopted and got married the same day. On the one hand it's not really a big deal because Eric and were already fully committed to each other so now the paperwork is signed. On the other hand it's crazy cool that I'm married! Wasn't sure that would ever happen!

2009-04-22T05:23:00.000-07:00

Obviously I don't post much! It's not that I don't have anything to say, au contraire, I haven't taken the time to write out what's on my mind. Here's a few updates on our life here.

1) I'm pregnant!!! Almost done being pregnant actually. I'm 34 weeks so only 6 more weeks until my due date. We have chosen to not find out the baby's sex so it will be a wonderful surprise when he/she is born. Because of Maggie we have most things anyway.

2) We finally have an adoption date for the twins - April 28th!!!

3) Eric and I are getting married - April 28th!!!

*Yes, it's the same day, yes it's a Tuesday, we're getting married before the judge right after we sign for the twins.

4) I have a second piano teacher in the studio now. She does about 1/3 of the lessons to lighten the load for me. I realized I wanted to spend more time with my kids and I was feeling resentful while I was teaching, hence not doing that great of a job. She began in January and I think things are going well. I do all office work, bookkeeping, scheduling and she comes in to teach. It's really been a great arrangement for me so far. I hope she feels the same and continues.

Life is good. Sometimes it's hard but I have the best husband I could ever dream of, the cutest kids I could ever find, and more love and support from my family than I could have ever hoped for.

Check this out!

2008-09-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

Eric and I went to Mason Jennings Friday night at the Pabst. Theresa Andersson opened for him... she's so cool! Check her out at theresaandersson.com. She has a video on youtube of Na Na NA and it's awesome!

What is Family?

2008-09-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

What is family?

You might say it's those related to you by blood- mother, aunts, fathers, uncles, cousins, grandparents, brothers and sisters, the list could go on and on. Sometimes people will refer to close friends and say they are like family. Some of my students feel like family to me. It makes me think that a closeness is what makes a family. In the case of adoption you become a family when you sign the paper work. That can become strange though too, because in my case as a foster parent, I'm not legally the kids mother. Are we a family?

Family is what you make it

The kids call me mom and Eric dad. They call our parents grandma and grandpa, our brothers and sisters are their aunts and uncles. It's been this way even before we were close to an adoption. It's a feeling in our hearts that makes us a family. It's taking care of them when they're sick, teaching them to be kind and the value of hard work. I know that even if the paper work never gets signed we would forever be a family. Even if Eric and I never sign a marriage license, we are still committed to each other in our hearts. That means more to me than a piece of paper with some names written on it.

My sister has this post on her Facebook page ~ "Friends and Relatives only become family when they treat each other like family." I concur.

How I found the dream world

2008-09-09T13:34:00.000-07:00

We all have choices in life. Sometimes we don't like the choices but we always have a choice. Sometimes when we're faced with a problem we can just skip it and move on. Other times we have to plow through it doing the best with what we have. The last few years I've been faced with quite a few choices that I didn't like. I always managed to do my best, taking control of my life where I could, letting go where I couldn't. It all sounds so poetic on the page, but trust me my life was anything but.

Earlier this year I took a leap and greedily grabbed my life and said "it's mine." I stopped trying to get back into a religion that clearly didn't want me as a member and I told my self "I am a good person and I deserve better than this." So this is my story of taking back the choices and steering my life in a direction of abundance.

Here I am, actually living the dream that I always dreamed. I'm off all anti-depressants and no longer see a therapist. I'm happy and the kids are happy. A couple months after this life changing moment I met Eric. He is the man of my dreams, literally. Granted I didn't know what he looked like (super-fine, thank you) but I spent many hours dreaming up what my perfect man would be like and here he is.

This is the story of how we met...

Early in the spring I bought two tickets to see Jack Johnson. I didn't have any one in mind to go with but I figured, "hey this is Jack, who wouldn't want to go?" So as the concert approaches I start asking around if anyone is interested. "No I have to work," "no I have other plans," "Never heard of him" (What the ?!) So not wanting to waste a ticket someone suggested posting it on Craigslist. I had never used Craigslist before but I figured I might as well give it a try. After a couple days with no responses I went back on Craigslist and started looking around. I typed in 'Jack Tickets' just to see where my ticket was. Well, there were 7 pages, mostly all people selling tickets. But then I came across a post that said "We should get tickets to Jack." My first thought was perhaps they would buy my ticket. It started off with a cute little rhyme about life being to short to keep doing the same old. Then said we should get tickets to Jack. I thought about it for a minute... Alpine Valley is public so if he's crazy it's a public place, I'm going with a friend and her boyfriend so if he's crazy I'm covered, it's a pit ticket so if he's crazy I don't have to sit next to him all night. Then I replied. I said "You sound sweet and I love Jack. Tell me about yourself! We only have a couple days until the concert."

That afternoon he replied. He said he loves to be outside, loves to read and doesn't watch tv. That's cool I thought, me too. So I wrote back. That night we chatted online for 2 hours. It was amazing! We have read or know about the same books, like the same food and drink (red wine, dark beer, no soda) interested in the same things (Intention, natural health, music...). I was really excited. I had never met someone who had so much in common with me. The next day we emailed a little more and then spent two more hours online that night. We made arrangements to meet on Saturday. Saturday morning sun came up and I was getting really excited. My mom said it's just a ticket, what if he's ugly? At least I'll get to see Jack I figured.

We had dinner at Pedro's on our way down but we ended up behind schedule and that's when I started to get really nervous. I had been doing good up 'til then but my head started to hurt and I was feeling very agitated. I kept putting peppermint on my neck and temples to calm my head. I kept reminding myself to take deep breaths and chill out. Well, eventually we got to the parking lot and I got out at the outhouses to wait in line with every one else who was doing the potty dance. Eric and I had been texting back and forth with updates on the progress. Finally we were headed to the main gate where Eric was waiting. I always walk fast (so does he) but that day I walked at least twice as fast. Part of me couldn't wait to see who this amazing guy was but part of me was so scared to. He walked past me and our eyes met, he kept on walking. Then a minute later he came back and I said "Eric?" at the same time he said "Emily?" Within minutes it was as if we had known each other a long time. We talked freely with none of that awkwardness that usually accompanies a first date. We split off from my friends not too long after we met. After a little while we talked about how we would find them again and I said my friends and I have a sort of mental telepathy. We always seem to know what the other is thinking or what the other is up to. So I'm sure we'll run into them. Sure enough, as two lanes of traffic merged, there they were headed down to the pit too.

Mason Jennings opened for Jack. Neither of us had known him previously. Mason is back in WI next week and Eric and I have tickets to go. We are totally into his music now.

Jack was great. Eric had his arms around me the whole concert. My friends said they have never seen me smile as much as I did that night. They're right, I haven't smiled that much in years. After the concert we were making our way to the aisle and he said I'd like to take you out to dinner sometime. The little girl in me was jumping up and down and screaming at the top of her lungs "HELL YEAH!" but the woman in me just said "I'd really like that." We decided to chill out in the seats until the crowds dispersed a little. We talked about going out again and he said he would say we could see a movie but if you want to get to know someone a movie isn't great for that. Considering all that we had in common I should've been less astounded that he said that. I have long thought that same thing. In fact, I've told guys before, when they said let's watch a movie I said nah let's talk. Anyway, I turned away because I couldn't believe he just said that. He asked if I was ok and I said I was and I feel the same way about movies. Eventually we made it out to the back. He bought us each a Jack bag. He said that he uses canvas bags for grocery shopping, I do too. He told me about his system for plastic bags too, so I shared mine. We're such dorks but in the same way, it's so cool.

He walked with us all the way to our car. We decided to sit around and talk because traffic was still backed up to get out. We could either sit and wait for the lines to go down or we could hang out in the grass. Eric and I spread out a blanket on the grass and talked. In fact the whole first two weeks we barely slept and just talked for days on end.

I felt like I had known him forever. It's weird because Beth and I grew up together and have lived the majority of our lives in the same house or very close so when we finish each others sentences or know what the other is thinking it's pretty understandable why. There is no way to explain how Eric and I could do the same thing. I know the universe has intended us to be together. It's as if we were born for each other. Somehow we were protected and guided throughout our lives so we would be exactly what the other was looking for. This is the beginning of my life of abundance. An abundance of choices for the whole world is at my disposal. An abundance of love with my soul mate by my side and a wonderful family around me.

I am truly blessed.